I hurt myself.
Nothing too awful...just a trip and fall.....but It is enough to scare me though.
And this is not a cry for sympathy but an opportunity to illustrate something my teacher shared with me so long ago..

I landed on my right arm, jamming it as well as shocking and traumatizing my wrist & elbow. The acupuncturist was able to relieve a lot of the pain, but the limitations are pretty severe. The prescription for me is rest and no carrying anything. I have a lot of time to think. (The weird round spots are from "cupping" a method used by the Chinese practioner, to draw out blood "stagnation" in the hurt area.)

When I started to sculpt, using large air powered tools, my mentor would often tell me that when someone gets hurt, it is actually themselves punishing themselves. It wasn't an accident, it was to some degree self abuse, a primitive cry for attention; a very base and pitiable way of being a victim. It seemed at the time a bit melodramatic, but over the years I got to seeing how this can be so and for that matter it is a commentary on how precious our bodies are for those who work with them for a vocation.

I knew that the steps here can be a bit slippery, even before last Friday, but I can say that this is something I knew and I had not exercised caution around. Caution being the word to focus on. As we draw closer to being self reliant, caution is a good trait to develop. Caution keeps you alert, ready for new unexpected or perilous events or speed bumps. This very same alertness allows for receptivity and awareness for new and unexpected boons to be employed when they are identified. It will also make you slow down enough to protect your most precious physical asset’s, your hands, eyes and body. There must be great reverence for these temporal, tender animal-bodies which are mighty important to manifesting our creative divinity.

Grilled cheese

Grilled Cheese Sammiches are a sport in this house. I am challenged every time to create yet another sublime concoction of curdled animal milk, oils, bread and various additives.

So far the ultimate winner is Prochuto Assagio, Monterey jack, white sharp Cheddar and swiss with thin sliced fresh tomato between two slices of rich, wheat bread.

For his birthday, my husband requested this as his meal of choice.

Go figger.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Manifestation Part Two: A House with a Garden

Our home was threatened nearly 2 years ago.
Here’s a story of how to manifest a house.

We had moved into an awesome home on a hill overlooking Los Angeles, its harbor and into Orange County. The price was a bit high but the view and house was a treat to live in.

Often times, as I traveled along the roads of San Pedro, I would see one house or another with these HUGE vegetable gardens. I had never had a large food garden like these and I was always impressed. The general population of Pedro is from the old country, so having a chicken or broccoli growing in your front yard is quite natural.

One garden was especially impressive. I would drive by, seeing this man working on the arbors, tending the grapes, digging in the dirt and generally making a terraced Eden right there above Gaffey. On the property there was also a small ‘grandmother house” or green house. I could not tell, but I often fantasized about having a studio in there with all the space and light and the magnificent view overlooking the ocean and port. what a wonderful home to have what with the view, the terraced garden full of fruit trees and vegetables and a splendid studio to boot! Of course, I would be covetous and complaining if I were to dwell on it regularly, because our home we rented from Hiroko was really quite special. This did not prevent me from exercising my imagination occasionally as I would walk past.

Flash forward:
We had been at Hirokos for over 18 months, Justin had just lost his job, my friend Gene had suddenly died, many other difficult events sideswiped us and in a fit of insanity, we decided to go to Burning Man to sort things out and see what the future fates had in store for us. We took Genes ashes to the Burn and we felt that when we got home we could leave the sadness of him passing and the uncertainty of unstable employment behind. We felt renewed and ready to face what may come.

And then we got the voice mail from our landlord, Hiroko as we drove towards Los Angeles. We had 6 weeks to move out .
She wanted to move back into her house and we needed to find a new home.

The stresses escalated to frenzy at that point. Not only had we lost our major form of income with Justin's job loss, I had also just signed a lease on my very first studio and to my horror found out the job waiting for me when I got home was gone!
Poof!
Vanished!
Given away in one week!
The demoralization was profound. How were we to find a home with no jobs, no income, no visible means of support???
Things were bleak.

So to recap:
Justin looses his job <>
I am still suffering from the illness I got from working in the garage and I can't seem to breathe.
Gene is dead.
People are slacking on paying me for work completed.
Coffee Haven looses a pivotal Co-Ord and I am the last original coordinator standing.
I loose 3 students
The Disney job tanks and...
We're essentially homeless and can't seem to find a single place that will accept our cats and bird. Everything is overpriced, in a stinky part of town or downright awful and overpriced.

Much despair was happening as time ticked by and the deadline to get moved raced towards us. We Packed with the anticipation of not knowing where we would land.

The good news began to come in. The head hunter Justin was working with called to make an offer that he and I still couldn’t believe. Then that afternoon,<> the place we had submitted an application to accepted our offer. Not only was it a home to live in but it is perfect for all the quirks we have in our life with animals and our space needs! It was easily 200 sq ft larger than the Hirokos,$200 less per month, and best of all....it was the Eden above Gaffey I had imagined living in for so long!!!

Below is the garden with the ocean view....


I was amazed...when the thought struck me that this was “the House” I had imagined living in for nearly 2 years, I was absolutely gob smacked! It is said manifestation works...I had suspected it did. Though I did not see where all the difficult times were leading, I have proof positive visualization works and now I really want to see how it will fill my life again.

Now I have my garden with a very special teacher in our landlord to help me learn how to make my own Eden.


Thank you Mario!

How to become a Jeweler

Nearly four years ago, I had the good luck to work on an amazing project for Disneyland Tokyo called "Mythica".There were at one time 6 model makers, 3 mold makers, a few co-directors, Scott Schaffer being one of them and the lead designer, Richard Improta , working on making this thing happen.

It was a very “gooey” project, filled with many details and little items to sculpt.


At one point, Laurie walked past as I was working on a very tiny piece, a dragons head the size of a penny.


She asked me if I had ever done jewelry. I said no, but I had always wanted to. She walked on.
Later that week, after I had dropped my son off for Saturday morning bowling, I ran into a whole neighborhood having a community garage sale. Justin and I went off to see what fabulous junk was for sale.

I lost Justin in a matter of minutes and as I came around a corner, there he was, yuckking it up, wearing a cowboy hat and a leather vest, with two old dames who had already cracked open the 2 Buck Chuck . He looked like a little boy playing dress-up and had the ladies in stitches. I asked one woman how much for the cowboy? She laughed and took a sip of her chardonay saying, "He’s not for sale, Honey". We all giggled at that and suddenly I spied a sign, deep in the garage, “Jewelers Bench For Sale”. It was the sign I had needed to go forward with learning the jewelers trade.

I learned that the bench belonged to Audreys past husband. He had gone 3 years before and she was finally ready to part with his tools and bench. For $100 I bought that bench, a buffer, hand tools, books and some scrap silver. It was all so overwhelming....for the most part, I was set to form metals and gems into jewels!

To this day, I believe this is what some call manifestation. I wanted something and someone pointed out how skilled I would be at it and voila! the means to take that course is presented.

Times are tough.
Everyone knows it.

Being a jeweler in these times requires patience, perseverance and flat out luck. I sometimes find myself slipping into despair, thinking bad thoughts about the things I make, then someone longingly comes along an pines over a piece I have made....walking away wistfully.

Because I am so new to this means of expression <sculpture, painting and model-making for toy companies has been my mainstay for the past 15 years> I have little to compare my quality to. I do know one thing...the local Farmers market ain't the place for me. But....and everyone has a big BUT....it is exposure. It is Advertising. It is public relations. Can't buy that kind of face-time for the price <free +10% of my take> So every Friday AM I pack my self into the truck, haul my set up downtown and plant myself to face a day of selling to buyers who are counting every dime just to make their grocery list. Sparkly shiney silver and gold is something that is less than priority for them....but a girl can hope.

So strike out. Be brave. Put yourself somewhere you don't feel comfortable. See if it works. If you have the time and the cost is not too high, my rationale is this may teach me something. Clearly these times are tough. Clearly i chose to go into a high luxury market at a supremely difficult time. I must remember that the positive side of living in a major metropolitan area is the rebound time the dollar will have. We will feel relief from this depression quicker than the middle of the country and with any luck be able to help out our brothers and sisters there more readily as the financial support structure rebuilds itself. 

I am hoping it will only be built in a manner that is not as closely related to the last failed paradigm and will be a harbinger of a shift in our culture. We so need a new way of thinking about things and a new way of doing business with each other.

To day is good...Make today better and watch this...

http://www.wisdombook.org/

Now go do your day!

I am Deborah and I have made things since I was a kid.
Our garage was stuffed to the gills with arts & crafts materials, tools, a tiny jigsaw my Dad used to fashion model boats with, scale trains, accompanying model landscapes and the ever present fix-it projects of my Mother. Even my favorite shows to watch, when I was little, were usually pretty creative. I'd laugh and laugh with my grandpa as the 'Lil'Rascals' would make a machine with a squirrel running on a wheel to power a wooden device that would send a snowball flying. All pretty outrageous and silly, but those kids seemed they could do anything and I kinda believed I could too.

I think my Grand Pa knew I could because my favorite place was in the garage, with him as he tinkered and puttered around, and he always welcomed me there. Always something brewing on the bench and Goddess knows it usually had something to do with electricity and a soldering gun. He would help me try out my hand if I was curious, guiding me and talking me through the process. That could be scary and thrilling but I would walk away feeling ever so powerful. There was one thing I was never allowed to touch though. The scariest thing of all was the table saw, sitting with magnificent, menacing glory in the middle of the garage. It had hideously large teeth and looked like if given half a chance, it would start itself and chase you down! When Grand Pa fired up the table saw, we all took a respectful giant-step backwards.

Now I have my own shop. My own bench, littered with things and stuff and what-nots. I work there nearly every day making metal and gems behave, trying to divine what the fey folk and the elven family heirlooms will be this season. Being a bit rebellious by nature, you won't find too many "conventional" jewelry pieces here. My favorite jewelers are fantastic artists creating wonders rather than common jewelry. Angela Blessing, Faberge, Sergio Bustamante, Erte and the divine, delightful Candace Stolley of Bindu Jewelry, all have had a major impact on my stylistic charge. I aspire to create to the visions dancing in my head, but for now I offer the trickle I am capable of tapping into at this time and welcome you back always!

Where to find things for sale...

“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.”
T. Edison


This quote, attributed to Edison, strikes me as the story of my life. I am a worker. A maker. A creator. I like overalls and getting into my work with a zeal that requires a good washing afterwards. There are times, I must admit, that I wish I could find a quiet “cubicle” job where I poke at paperwork in an air-conditioned room now and again, but that feeling evaporates when I sit down and start working. Or when I have to take a break to feed myself because I have forgotten, again. Or when I look up, out of my space and see the Ancient American Indian sacred circle that denotes the long time use of this land for spiritual and divine use. I am blessed and I know that to carp about my lot is vain.

The Painting is coming along quite well. Today I am shooting to finish one more. Finish means I am ready for someone to see it. I am not too sure finish ever means finish, because I can work on these mandalas for quite awhile. In fact to a point of distraction and over work to some. It is hard for me to ‘complete’ a piece in a rapid manner. It seems to take an investment of myself, my time and a bit of contemplation of each work, then BAM! the next step presents itself to me and I move into the next layer of the painting.

I have 4 more days of painting left. This means I put away the paints and brushes and begin producing for the Farmers market , my Etsy site, the San Pedro Art Association and of course the de rigure holiday present giving season. My friends are so lucky  I am a jeweler. They get silver and copper baubles instead of hand towels or candles! All kidding aside, I feel it is time to really examine the elements of my creating, the cycles, the pressures to move from one discipline to the other, the discipline of focusing on one craft or medium for an extended time....Theresa was right, I needed this time to really develop my works and to create a consistency, a style or at the very minimum a seed of icons to return to in a couple of months. I anticipate returning to painting after the new year. This will, with any luck, provide me with plenty of time to hunger for it again.


Or not.....

Vegetarianism is slowly creeping into my life. I do love Pastrami and a fine filet, yet the impact of my cravings are immense if you calculate it by the gross numbers of meat eaters on this planet. Aside from the ecological impact there is of course the impact felt by the animal itself. It is  more attractive to look out into my vegetable patch for dinner than it is to consider the butcher case at the local super.  And so I seem to be creeping gently away from the influence of meat in my diet.

I hope one day to be a vegetarian without a dark secret meat craving side, and I hope one day soon to feel that freedom.

For the record, My favorite veggie/vegan/raw restaurant in the OC is Au Lac. Premiere food, engaging service and an ambiance that has yet to be duplicated in its suave casualness. I highly recommend this place as it is a divine experience and even my mother, bless her, found the food quite good to her meat desensitized palate.

Now the question to you out there:
I love the Pistachio Bread on the raw menu. It is savory, a itty bitty sweet and to some degree spicy. Has anyone been exposed to this dish and successfully deconstructed the ingredients AND made this?!

If so, will you share?
It would delight me to give this as a holiday gift at the next pot luck!
Namaste!